Top 10 Most Attractive Video Game Women

So, there's really one thing I want to say before anyone delves into this list.  It wasn't until this list that I truly realized the lack of women in gaming (well at least the games I played).  I literally started looking through my old games for ideas when making this list and came up with nothing except for my original brainstorm.  Some of the games I played the most when I was kid had no females in them at all like Ghost Recon: Jungle Storm or Air Combat.  If the games did have females in them, we might see them once, maybe they get a line or two, and, if we're lucky, they actually have a personality.  So, I basically had no choice but to load up this list with Final Fantasy characters (four of them Final Fantasy, five of them from Square Enix/Soft).  I know I haven't played a lot of more recent games so maybe female characters have a large role in those but, at least in the games I played, Final Fantasy was just better at developing a female character than I had seen thus far.  Sure, she might be in the back row casting Curaga over and over while the men beat the shit out of whatever monster is in front of them. But hey, at least they're doing something other than being saved.

So, in case you're wondering why there's so many Final Fantasy characters, that's why.

Oh and there are spoilers on this list.  Just a heads up.  Though, I believe the spoilers on this list are not as frequent or as significant as other lists I've made.

Number 10:  Daisy - Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4

How the hell do you skate in heels like that?

Daisy was a secret character in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4.  Needless to say, she was also the most expensive.  You needed just about every bit of cash you could find in the game in order to unlock her.  Amongst the long legs, blonde hair, and giant jugs, she is your stereotypical hot chick.  However, she also has absolutely no character.  She's just there to look good.  Not to mention that skating in heels like that is physically impossible.

But at least her boobs bounced around whenever you did an ollie or landed a trick in a quarter pipe.


Number 9:  Lara Croft - Tomb Raider Series

Glad I have a back brace

Everyone knows who Lara Croft is.  She is basically the most well known video game sex symbol in history.  She doesn't have much character though.  She goes around disturbing pyramids and temples to find ancient artifacts.  Why?  I don't know.  She just does.  Either to make money or because she enjoys history.  Or maybe because she wants to blast a mummy in the chest with a shotgun.  In all honesty though, I haven't played any of the games beyond the PlayStation 1 so maybe someone somewhere along the line developed her character a little more than that.  Either way, no list would be complete without Lara Croft on it which is why she slips in at the number nine slot.

Number 8:  Mindy - Tony Hawk's American Wasteland

Sheena and Mindy are punk rockers!

Tony Hawk's American Wasteland is basically the first game to actually have some kind of story behind the "let's go do stupid shit" plot in Tony Hawk games.  This plot brings us Mindy, a kick ass punk rock chick that is not only hot, but is also the first chick in a Tony Hawk game to have any character at all.  In fact, she doesn't have the best figure.  Her melons are a decent size but she's pretty thick for a video game chick.  She also has an interesting voice.  I actually played through this game pretty recently and I couldn't help but feel that the voice actress for her character sounded familiar.  So, I did a little bit of research on Imdb and found out that Cree Summer is the voice actress and that she also voice acted as Kida in Atlantis:  The Lost Empire.  Kind of a weird jump if you ask me.  She also sounds completely different as Mindy opposed to how she voice acted Kida so I really don't know why she sounded familiar in the first place.

But anyways, basically, Mindy's hot because she's a punk rock girl.  Enough said.

Number 7:  Quistis Trepe - Final Fantasy VIII

Quistis not shooting missiles out of her chest

Quistis is one of the major characters in Final Fantasy VIII.  Most notably, she is Squall's hot teacher.  She has a nice figure and a motherly nature which is generally a plus.  Also, she uses a fucking whip!  Maybe Squall should create a ruckus in the classroom so he has to stay after class.  Quistis also learns blue magic which means she learns some really bizarre attacks.  Most notable of those is the one where she shoots missiles out of her chest.  hahahahahahaha

Number 6:  Aeris Gainsborough - Final Fantasy VII

The light.  THE LIGHT!!!

So, probably the first thing you're thinking is.  Why not Tifa?  Well, I explain that in my honorable mentions.  Right now I'm talking about Aeris.  She has special power and a special connection with the planet because she is a descendant of the Ancients.   So what does all of that have to do with her being attractive.  Absolutely nothing!  I wasted your time with that reading.  ha ha hahaha  ha!

So what does make her attractive?  Well, mostly her good nature.  She's very caring and never does anything bad.  She's basically everything that is good in the world.  I guess it also kind of puts off this innocence which is somewhat appealing.  But mostly, I find her attractive just because she's incredibly nice.  Call me old fashioned, but, I like girls that are nice (which contradicts liking punk rock chicks, I don't know what I want!!!).  She's also very good looking; though, I honestly think she looks weird in Final Fantasy VII.  This picture is actually of her in that piece of shit movie Advent Children.  Though, she also looked the same in the prequel Crisis Core so, I mean, even though I like how she looks best in that game, I'm still going to use the original game for the tribute.  Why?  Because that's the game she has the deepest character and most significance.  In Crisis Core she was pretty great but she was only the love interest.  In the original game, she has great power.  She is everything that is good.  She is sweet, kind, and brave but also has holy powers that can save the planet.  That is why I like her best in the original game.

Number 5:  Eva - Metal Gear Solid 3

Even I can't help but to look at them

Yeah, this tramp is trying to seduce Snake the whole game.  But, I mean, what do you expect from someone who wears nothing but a bra and panties underneath their jumpsuit? (well, I guess that's more than what I wear underneath my jumpsuit)  Of course, she succeeds.  I guess Snake figured it was either her or some strange venomous snake in the jungle.  Eva is very hot though.  She is very smart, tough, and does everything for the greater good, even if she does appear to be up to no good at times.  Of course, complementing her personality and complicated spy work is her blonde hair and her nice coconuts.  Of course she realizes that she has a nice bod so she's always unzipping that jumpsuit (something that I don't do by the way).  What's also hot is that she rides motorcycles.  Seriously, what guy can't resist a hot chick on a motorcycle?

On top of all of this, we find out in Metal Gear Solid 4 that she was the surrogate mother for future world hero Solid Snake.  Now that is quite the MILF...

Number 4:  Rydia - Final Fantasy IV:  The After Years

This IS my natural hair color!

Rydia was always a bit of an interesting character for me to have a crush on due to the fact that she's underage in the original Final Fantasy IV.  Back when I played the original Final Fantasy IV I was around her age though so it's not fucking pedophilia God dammit!  In all seriousness though, she is truly in her most beautiful form in the sequel, Final Fantasy IV:  The After Years.  Here, she's a full grown adult.  She has beautiful long puke-green hair.  Okay, so I prefer to think that it's lime green or light green.  She also has a nice, lean, and fit body (or that's at least how I imagined her).  Like Quistis, she also uses a whip.  The whip is always a plus.  Especially if you enjoy S&M.

Really though, Rydia's personality is what sells it for me.  Like Aeris, she's sweet and thoughtful and also has a ton of power.  She is good friends with all of the eidolons and can summon them at will.  This becomes especially important in The After Years because Rydia and the others need to break a seal to get into Castle Baron and figure out what the hell is going on with Cecil.  The only way to break the seal is for Rydia to regain control of all the eidolons that have been possessed by aliens (long story short).

I think what really added to Rydia's hotness was that, as the player, I wasn't really given a good idea of what she looked like.  I mean, this game is from the 16-bit era.  Nothing is incredibly detailed.  This allowed your imagination to take over and fill in the blanks where the game developers couldn't.  Well, sure, I played the PSP remake of The After Years but, that didn't give you much to work with either.  The only real visual enhancement was the character portrait.  The character portrait in the PSP remake is very similar to the one above but zoomed in on her face.  So, it still allowed the imagination to really imagine what she looked like.

I look back at the original game and see a young girl but in the sequel, she is a hot young woman!  She truly deserves the number four spot on this list.
  
Number 3:  Lightning - Final Fantasy XIII

Room for one more?

To say the least, it's not the greatest game of the series.  However, I also don't hate it as much as a lot of Final Fantasy fans, I'll admit.  But, love it or hate it, there's no denying how hot Lightning is.  When I played this game, I always fucking wondered why Snow wanted Serah, Lightning's little sister.  If I were Snow, I would want fucking Lightning.  Her boots and skirt combo are damn hot.  Actually, is that a skirt or are those short shorts?  I could never really figure that out.  Maybe it's a fucking skort.  Nobody wins.  Basically, don't get me started on skorts.

Anyways, even if Snow wanted Lightning, it would never happen because Lightning hates Snow's stupid and arrogant ass with a passion (which makes her all the more likeable).  She's got attitude and takes shit from no one.  She also has, in my opinion, one of the coolest weapons in the whole series.  It's a gunblade that actually shoots bullets (unlike Squall's).  But, what is the coolest part about it is that it folds up for ease of carry.  That's pretty cool.  It's always cool and sexy when she flips it out and folds it back into her sheath, all in one swift motion.

In summary, she's tough, has guts, and kicks ass.  She also cares a lot about others around her, especially her kid sister.  This is actually part of the reason why she is so tough and harsh on others at times.  Not to mention, she also has a very lean physique complemented with nice legs.  There's no doubt in my mind that she belongs in the number three spot (well, except for maybe the number two slot).

Number 2:  Nel Zelpher - Star Ocean:  Till the End of Time

Man that sewer was roomy!

I seriously had a tough time figuring out whether I like Nel or Lightning more.  Why?  Well, they're actually pretty similar characters.  They're both very fit.  They are very agile and acrobatic.  They both have a skeptical attitude and both don't let anyone mess around with them.  So, what made me choose Nel over Lightning?  I honestly don't really know.  I can't come up with a logical reason for why Nel should be in the number two spot and Lightning should be in the number three spot.  The best I can come up with is that Nel kind of has a bit of a clever side to her which is interesting.  It's cool that she can get both Fayt and Cliff (who could be the two biggest dillweeds in videogame history) out of prison when they crash land on her planet.

I really can't say with solid reasoning why I like Nel more.  It could have something to do with that I played this game when I was younger opposed to Final Fantasy XIII which came out more recently.

Number 1:  Catherine - Catherine

Would you stop staring?  It's creepy.

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

There is no doubt that Catherine is the number one most attractive video game woman.  Her body is essentially pure perfection.  Her hair is also blonde and cute and of course she has blue eyes to complement the hair.  She also has a very cute personality.  She's carefree and likes to joke around.  Of course, near the end of the game, you find out that Catherine was actually a succubus sent by some demi-god from hell.  Actually, the game has a very interesting variety of endings and complex puzzle solving in the heart of its game play.  If you ever see it anywhere, I highly recommend you purchase it.

The game developers went out to make a sex symbol.  Mission fucking accomplished.  Damn, I mean, I've run out of things to say.  Words don't truly describe it.  Just look.


Honorable Mentions:

Tifa Lockhart - Final Fantasy VII
Okay, why Tifa didn't make the list.  Well, she is sweet and a very caring indivdual.  However, she was almost too sexualized for me.  Her boobs were just always so awkward in Final Fantasy VII.  It's almost as if they were trying way too hard to make her sexy in Final Fantasy VII and as a result it really backfired (well for me that is).  I'm sure there are some people that like the way she looks and, well, they have their tastes and I have mine.
In the movie Advent Children, however, Tifa was pretty damn hot.  The proportions on her were very good.   She does also make a brief appearance in Crisis Core.  However, there are two problems.  One, I'm not digging the cowgirl look on her.  Two, she's only like 15 in Crisis Core when she's the tour guide in Nibelheim.
The version of her in Advent Children is also in Dirge of Cerberus (I believe, my memory is kind of hazy).  Believe me, that version of her looks great but the original version of her is so weird to me that I just can't put her on this list.

Rosa Ferrel - Final Fantasy IV
There really isn't anything wrong with Rosa.  She's an attractive and good natured white mage.  But, I just prefer Aeris.  I couldn't find myself putting both of them on this list.  So, Rosa had to go.

Maria Traydor - Star Ocean:  Till the End of Time
Maria is a pretty cool and nice person.  She shoots a rifle but not nearly as sexily that Lara Croft shoots a shotgun or Eva shooting her pistol while on a bike.  But she's still cute and attractive.  Just not attractive enough to make the list.

Tawna - Crash Bandicoot
Tawna has a good figure.  She has no personality and spends her whole life standing there looking good while Crash goes through the bonus round.  Her biggest downfall:  SHE'S A FUCKING BANDICOOT!  Sorry, I'm not into furries...



References:

Daisy image:
http://www.mobygames.com/images/shots/l/523704-tony-hawk-s-pro-skater-4-windows-screenshot-collected-all.jpg

Lara Croft image:
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090527202738/laracroft/images/c/c2/TombRaiderTheLastRevelation.jpg

Mindy Image:
http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/BiuUXhYK2UU/mqdefault.jpg

Quistis Image:
http://a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/72/cb12cdf7c95d81ccb54c8710854751a0/l.jpg

Aeris Image:
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090924125412/finalfantasy2/de/images/2/23/AerisFF7AC.jpg

Eva Image:
http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/3019/evajy3.jpg

Rydia Image:
http://lparchive.org/Final-Fantasy-IV-The-After-Years/Update%20131/1-After_Rydia.png

Lightning Image:
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/6/62890/1688536-lightning_03.jpg

Nel Image:
http://cf.juggle-images.com/fit/white/600x600/wg-star-ocean-till-the-end-of-time-4.jpg

Catherine Image:
http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/ca/69/ca69f6ba6716b4c129028baf74a87bbe.png?itok=5JpavlQz

A Tribute to My Favorite Teachers

Mr. Joseph

Mr. Joseph was my 8th grade English teacher.  He was very into discussing real world situation instead of just the subject of English.  I remember our class discussions would often turn into discussions about high school, college, or preparing for the rest of your life.  Mr. Joseph often helped his students see the bigger picture.  He was also relatable too.  He never tried to be strict or really professional or anything like that.  I remember his classroom had Smashing Pumpkins and Grateful Dead posters all over, both are bands that I listen to on occasion.  I heard the year after I graduated middle school that Mr. Joseph left.  I don't know where he's been since then.

Mr. Butterly

Mr.  Butterly was my English teacher Junior year of high school.  Mr. Butterly was similar to Mr. Joseph in that his class often sidetracked to discussions about real life opposed to the broken English curriculum my district had decided to force into the high schools.  Most notably, I remember Mr. Butterly ranting about the ACT and how it doesn't do any of the things that it's designed to do.  It doesn't really reflect how good of a student you are or how smart you are.  It just tests you on some topics that are mostly irrelevant to your success in college.

Anyways, Mr. Butterly would put things like the ACT into perspective. He caused me to look at the world differently like Mr. Joseph had.  Mr. Butterly got into a lot of trouble with the administrative staff because of his teaching method.  The second half of that year, our principal Mrs. Zupec came into the class three times to observe his teaching.  This was after some other administrative people were observing our class.

It's hard to say whether Mr. Butterly got fired or if he quit.  During the last couple of months of school Mr. Butterly had talked about going to law school at NIU and quitting teaching.  I couldn't verify that he went to law school at NIU though.  His website has also vanished without a trace.  It's like he disappeard out of thin air...

Mr. Mundt

Mr. Mundt, like Mr. Butterly and Mr. Joseph, also talked about worldly topics.  However, he didn't talk about these things as much as Butterly or Joseph.  The way that Mr. Mundt ran the class though was very involving.  I had Mr. Mundt as a Creative Writing teacher.  He would have us do these excercises at the beginning of every class which I had probably learned more from than a whole year's worth of material in most English classes.  Mr. Mundt was also a very relatable teacher for me too.  He was a big fan of old school punk music which was what I had been listening to a lot at the time.  Whenever I wore a Clash t-shirt to school, Mr. Mundt would comment and we would start talking about The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, The Dead Kennedys, The Cramps, and probably some others that I haven't thought of.

I heard from my best friend that he's retiring at the end of this school year.  He's a pretty reputable source so I don't have any reason to not believe him.

Mr. Smith

Mr. Smith was most notably the choir director at my middle school.  However, I didn't do choir but he did teach the 8th grade music class.  Music class was an elective and it was not always the most exciting class.  However, it was more fun than most other classes especially since we got to mess around on instruments for like half the class.

Most importantly, I was teaching myself how to play bass guitar and I learned some stuff in the music class that aided in my learning of the bass guitar.  So I definitely have to give Mr. Smith some credit for indirectly helping me learn the bass guitar.  He also showed some interesting slide shows about how some instruments work like pipe organs or whatever else.  These also spurred my musical interest beyond the actual music itself and got me interested in learning a bit more about the technical aspects of instruments.

Mr. Smith retired after that school year was over.  Coincidentally, I talk to a piano tuner at a superbowl party that I go to every year who is good friends with Mr. Smith.  Actually, this piano tuner also tunes the pianos at my old middle school.  But, this past superbowl, the piano tuner said he had just spent time with Mr. Smith the week before and that Mr. Smith is doing great.  I'm really glad to hear that since he was such an influential teacher to me.

Mr.  Meggesin

Just about everyone who has Mr. Meggesin is influenced and inspired by his teaching.  His teaching style isn't the most exciting but he is a very interesting character that knows how to have fun using science.  Being in his AP class, I learned a lot about the fundamentals of Kinematics, Electromagnetics, and a bit about Quantum Mechanics and Nuclear Physics.  Not only did I learn these topics, I learned them well.  He has a knack for really making things make sense.  He also would get off track from the curriculum and talk about stuff relatable to the real world such as life after high school or something science related going on in the news.  Mr. Meggesin is a goofy guy but he knows how to get the job done.  There is no doubt about it that no one could ask for a better physics teacher than Mr. Meggesin.

My Take on Valentine's Day

I don't give a shit.
I never do anything special.
Never had a reason to do anything special.

Most importantly...

I never had to spend money on chicks for Valentine's Day!

If you have a girlfriend, sucks to be dishing out today.
Girls, if you have a boyfriend,  milk him for all he's worth!
And that is what Valentine's Day is all about.

Oh... and to sulk around in my room wishing I wasn't alone on Valentine's Day.
But, it's still better than spending a ton of money on a chick that's probably just using you.
And is inevitably going to leave you, forcing you to
Brace for Insanity.

Top 10 Favorite Video Game Characters

I played a lot of video games growing up and, let me tell you, there were some pretty memorable characters in these games.  So, I am making a top ten list of my favorite video game characters to pay tribute to these memorable characters.  In some ways, I'm sure that this list will reveal where some quirks in my personality come from.


Note:  I tried to avoid characters that:
1.)  Are real life people
2.)  Are from other media such as television or movies (for instance, I was inclined to put The Joker from Batman:  Arkham Asylum on here but The Joker isn't exclusively a video game character).
3.)  Will appear on my Top 10 Most Attractive Video Game Characters list.

Oh...and...SPOILERS!!! HUGE SPOILER ALERT!!!
Don't read descriptions if you don't want the ending ruined for you!!!

With that out of the way, onto the list!!!

Number 10:  Ollie the Magic Bum - Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4

Ollie the Magic Bum often brought a smile on my face.  He would be stumbling around and slurring his words when asking you to gather the C-O-M-B-O letters for him.  Sometimes he's sitting around in that barrel.  And no matter how pissed you got at your inability to collect the hard-as-shit C-O-M-B-O letters, you still laughed everytime he would ask you to collect them again.  



Number 9:  Spyro - Spyro the Dragon


Spyro was a simple character.  He spits fire, leads with his horns, and wants to kick ass!  He's a fiery little fella that you could always root for.  Enough said.


Number 8:  Tanner - Driver


Tanner was always an interesting character.  Yeah, he's an undercover cop but you always felt like you were playing the bad guy anyways.  Checking his answering machine in the darkness of his apartment, committing all sorts of crime most of the game, his shady sounding voice, all of these things made it feel like you were playing as a badass.  At the end you remember that he actually is a good guy when you save the president from the plot that the corrupt FBI officers had tried to execute.  At the end, he throws his police badge on the ground and walks away in typical badass fashion.  Gotta love this guy.


Number 7:  Chris Jacobs - Mercenaries


Not only is this guy a badass, he's fucking hilarious too.  The whole game he has some sort of wisecrack to make while he's kicking someone's ass.  Basically, everything is a giant game to him.  When he's blowing up tanks, buildings, or bases, he's having fucking fun while doing it.  Even if he is getting bombed the shit out of.  He doesn't care!  He's getting paid!


Number 6:  Yellow 13 - Ace Combat 4


One of my favorite characters of all-time from one of my favorite games of all time.  Yellow 13 is the opposing faction's fighter ace that you eventually have to shoot down in the second to last level of the game.  In the game's story, we follow a kid who has lost his parents in the war.  Eventually, he ends up having to live with Yellow 13.  What makes this an even bigger deal is that Yellow 13 is essentially the one who killed the kid's parents.  So not only is he the enemy, but he is also responsible for the death of the kid's family!  As the game goes on, he learns that just because Yellow 13 is the enemy doesn't mean that he's a bad guy.  In fact, he grows extremely attached to Yellow 13 and Yellow 13 basically becomes his second father.


Yellow 13 is a special character to me because it was the first game I played where the 'bad guy' wasn't inherently evil.  He was a person just like you are and he's just doing his job (and is very good at it).  In fact, Yellow 13 has to be the most compassionate video game "villain" I've ever seen.  Yellow 13 treats everyone in his squadron like they are brothers and sisters.  When his wingman Yellow 4 gets shot down and killed, he holds onto her handkerchief that was fluttering down out of the sky.  A really touching story to a really great game.  Yellow 13 is certainly memorable.

Number 5:  Lt. Harrison - Medal of Honor:  Rising Sun


This guy is the craziest AI ever.  After rescuing Lt. Harrison from a Japanese POW camp, he joins you as you go blowing artillery guns in the mountains.  He isn't a very deep character.  He just runs right in front of gun fire fucking yelling at Japanese soldiers like bullets don't do anything to him.  In the multi-player, he is by far the most intense AI opponent you can play against.  I have never beaten him.  In fact, I get my ass kicked every time.  Even when my best friend and I go two on one against him, we still get our ass kicked.  He's fucking legendary and I will certainly not forgot how much his AI pisses me off.


Number 4:  Odin - Final Fantasy Series


I know I said that I wanted to avoid using characters from other media.  As you may or may not know, Odin is from Norse Mythology and is the father of Thor (who I suppose is more well known).  Anyways, the reason why he is on this list is because of the portrayal of him in the Final Fantasy games.  Every Final Fantasy, this guy is the biggest badass ever!  If I had to pick my favorite portrayal, I would pick Final Fantasy VIII.  He's a Guardian Force but the only Guardian Force that you can't summon on your own.  He appears at random and you know when he comes because in the middle of battle, it randomly gets cloudy and starts raining.  It then cuts over to Odin who's strutting on his horse in white and gold armor.  He stops and whips out his curved saber and slices all of the enemies in half.  Battle over.


It seems cheap but you do acquire him through a side quest where you have to climb some tower and defeat him in a boss fight.  But, he is by far my favorite summon in any Final Fantasy game which is why he has earned the fourth spot on this list.

Number 3:  Ted Lawless - Blitz:  The League


This guy gambles, has a bitchy ex-wife, and won't get bailed out of jail because of his need to aggressively flirt with women.  Basically, he's a huge dick.  But, he's also a hero which makes him perhaps even more badass than Odin.  When he's in jail, days before the championship game, he sells the defensive playbook to the opposing team in order to get the money needed to get out of jail.  He's viewed as a traitor by the team for doing this but, at the end of the day, they learn that the playbook he sold was a fake and they win the game and be happy.  Kinda stupid, yeah, but I just love how obnoxious this guy is.  He likes bashing heads on the field, being a dick off of the field.  For some reason, I can't help but to root for this guy.


Number 2:  Solid Snake - Metal Gear Series


Solid Snake.  Hero, stealth expert, weapons expert, etc. etc. ETC.!!!  He can do it all.  He's mentally tough, he's physically tough, he's smart, he pulls through no matter what.  He's also a conflicted character which makes him much more relatable than most other video game characters.  Deep down, the deaths of his comrades bother him.  These emotions just rarely reach the surface.  In fact, we learn in Metal Gear Solid 4 that his emotions all this time have been controlled by nano machines.  So, I guess this takes away the glamor a bit but I still can't help but to idolize this guy.  Towards the end of MGS4, he has to walk through a radiation chamber which is one of the most dramatic sequences I've seen in any game.  The very end is also incredibly emotional.  Especially if you've played all of the games prior to that like I had.  

Watching Solid Snake just makes me think, yeah, I need to just be a little more like that to pull through and no matter what happens, things will work out. 



Number 1:  Squall Leonhart - Final Fantasy VIII


He's a talented fighter and gives the cold shoulder to everyone.  Squall is definitely my favorite video game character.  He's pessimistic, generally wants to be alone, and only focuses on the objective at hand.  He doesn't care what others think of him.  He's also incredibly afraid of getting emotionally attached to any other human being.  He's very conflicted.  I guess, he's my favorite because he's the most relatable for me.  Especially at the time that I was playing this game.  I couldn't help but to relate every quirk of his to myself.  




Honorable Mentions:

Cecil Harvey - Final Fantasy IV

His character is an interesting concept.  He overcomes his dark past to become a Paladin.  He deeply cares about the others around him and tries to protect all of them so that everyone is okay.  He was always inspiring to me.  Especially his will to never give up.

N. Gin - Crash Bandicoot 2

This guy is fucking nuts!  He's a science genious who has had some experiments go wrong in the past, leaving him as one fucked up dude.  Most notably, he has a rocket sticking out of the side of his head that shoots fire out when he gets mad.  Just a great, entertaining, character.

The Boss - Metal Gear Solid 3

Naked Snake's/Big Boss's mentor.  She is a veteran special ops soldier from WWII.  She's incredibly smart and selfless.  At the end of the game she sacrifices herself and appears to die a traitor when in reality she's a hero for the United States by saving Naked Snake/Big Boss.  Definitely one of the most admirable video game characters.

Bruno Battaglia - Blitz:  The League

He's essentially the same guy as Ted Lawless.  The only difference is that Bruno has no redeeming qualities like Lawless does.  Therefore, he doesn't make the list.

My Take on Paul

So, I have a good friend of mine named Paul.

For those of you that don't know Paul, he is a very interesting character.  He is a very smart person.  He goes to one of the most prestigious engineering colleges in the nation.  He's very odd in his own unique kind of a way.  He often ends up taking very bizarre jokes really far.  For instance, he is most infamous for his umbrella hat joke.  This is probably because it was caught on film.

In fact, you can watch it here!

Anyways, despite his odd nature, he seems to have one thing that he can always count on...

GIRLS!!!

Well, okay, everyone knows that you can't count on a woman or, well, anyone for that matter.  But seriously, this guy seems to have at least two or three girls interested in him at all times!  Okay, so I can't really say how many girls are interested in him right now but I know that he has his girlfriend so that's at least one (well, presumably his girlfriend has interest in him).

To me, this has been a great phenomenon that I think about more than any sane human being would.  I weigh back and forth how this could happen.  In my experience, it is the complete tools and jackoffs that get all the girls.  So how does Paul pull it off?  Well, I can't say that I have very good theories but I do have them nonetheless.  Maybe they're right or maybe I'm dead wrong.  Probably dead wrong.  There is no science as to how this works out.  In fact it's madness!!!  IT'S INSANITY!!!  LET'S BRACE FOR IT IT!!!

1.)  My first theory is that girls like his odd nature.  Seems straightforward enough, right?  At the same time though, it seems rather odd too.  In my observations, girls tend to go for the guys who have immense amounts of confidence or assholes.  Most people who have immense amounts of confidence are assholes, in fact.  So, if Paul isn't an asshole, which I don't think he is, then how does he do it?  How come girls bypass the desire for an asshole and go after the kid with the weird quirks instead?  Well, the best I've come up with is that they find these quirks interesting.  Why do they find these quirks interesing?  Well, because no one else really compares to Paul.  Paul is so different and so unique that girls know that they are getting a one of a kind person.  In other words, Paul is like a rare item.  Girls like rare stones like rubies and diamonds.  They also like rare guys as well.

However, being a rare guy doesn't make the cut by itself.  You can be rare and still be boring.  But by exhibiting his rare nature in a non-creepy way, he exhibits the confidence in himself that an asshole would have without being an actual asshole.  I think the key here is that he exhibits what I call passive-confidence.  Assholes exhibit what I call active-confidence.  They are not only confident, but they want to get in your face and let you know about their dominance every second that you are in the room.  Paul, on the other hand, doesn't feel the need to do this and instead lets his confidence show without having to tell everyone about it.  Basically, he just keeps being his odd self and that's it.  That's all it takes.

2.)  However, not all odd people can just be confident and get the ladies.  Paul also has great properties that help him not only get the ladies interested but keep them interested.  He often doesn't return their text messages or answers their calls which keeps girls guessing and makes girls go the extra mile to impress him.  He makes sure that girls think that it is a major privelage to be in a social situation with him by doing this.  Therefore, they feel honored when he answers or returns their call and he gives them one word answers the whole time.  It's a good strategy and it makes sense to do this.  Especially if the girls that you are interested in have low self-esteem.

Note:  The girls that are interested in Paul are generally pretty hot (Minus Ana of course.  Let's not go there). Whether they have low self-esteem or not is not really of my concern.  However, if they have low self-esteem because of their looks, they are really stupid.

Anyways, on to the next...

3.)  Contrary to popular belief, Paul is a nice, caring, and empathetic character.  He has a genuine care for the feelings of the girls that he's interested in which puts him well above the typical assholes.  Sometimes he does things that contradict this kind of thing.  For instance, he is really cheap about paying his share when a bill is split.

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Story time:  I wasn't actually there so someone correct me if I'm wrong.  But, to the best of my knowledge, Paul and a friend of mine shared a buy one get one free coupon for shakes at Steak and Shake.  The bill was three dollars and some odd change.  My friend paid the bill (including the tip) and Paul gave him two dollars to chip in.  However, shortly after, Paul realized that he actually owed one dollar and change instead of two whole dollars.  So, Paul asked for his dollar back and proceeded to count out and give my friend exact change.  What's also interesting was that the money that Paul ended up paying didn't include the tip.  So, really, my friend actually ended up paying more than Paul because he paid for the whole tip.
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However, Paul is very strategic about when and where he does this.  He only does this to males, not females.  So, even if he appears to be an asshole, it's only towards males.  Now, with a female, he would continue to be the nice, caring, and empathetic character he is as a chick magnet.



He may appear to be oblivious but everything he does has a very specific science to it.  Paul is a dear friend of mine and I'm not trying to call him out necessarily (though I definitely am).  However, I think we could all learn a thing or two from his prowess.

Especially me.  The creepiest and most fucked up person on Earth.
So, if you're creepy and fucked up like I am, do what Paul does.

It could work out for you too!!!

Or you could go to Pudge's Hot Chick Pick Up Academy and take some classes.  Enrollment for summer classes start next week!

Abridged: Top 10 Most Influential Albums

Number 10:  The All-American Rejects - Move Along
Passionate Moments

Number 9:  Pencey Prep - Heartbreak in Stereo
Mistakes, angst, frustration

Number 8:  Weezer – Blue
Awkward around girls

Number 7:  My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade
Social outcast's masterpiece

Number 6:  Jimmy Eat World – Futures
Brought tears out

Number 5:  Rancid - …And Out Come the Wolves
Matt Freeman

Number 4:  Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin IV
Rocking Horse

Number 3:  Deep Purple - Made in Japan
Upbringing

Number 2:  The Clash - Combat Rock
Welcome to Punk

Number 1:  Green Day - American Idiot
Gateway to Punk

Honorable Mentions:

Green Day – Dookie
One of us...

She Wants Revenge - This is Forever
Dark Wave

Styx - The Grand Illusion
Come Sail Away