frnkiero andthe cellebration - Stomachaches

I'm tangled in the web of love! *sobbing*

After My Chemical Romance broke up, all of the members went their own separate ways starting solo projects or new bands.  In my opinion, the best of these were Gerard Way's solo album Hesitant Alien and frnkiero andthe cellebration's Stomachaches.  I guess if there's one way to describe Hesitant Alien, it's that it's unoriginal.  This is pretty surprising considering how unique My Chemical Romance was.  But yeah, it's a solid album, but there just really isn't anything out of the ordinary or particularly memorable going on, leaving me particularly uninterested.

frnkiero andthe cellebration is the polar opposite.  It obviously draws from many of Frank Iero's inspirations from indie, to hardcore punk, to folk music.  At times, this album gets downright experimental.  In fact, these are the songs that usually just leave you scratching your head thinking, "What was that?"  Songs like "Blood Infections," "Neverenders," or "Smoke Rings" have interesting elements in them, but ultimately, fall victim to disorganization and/or clear purpose.

One of the first things you'll notice about this album is the vocal style.  The best way to describe Frank's vocals would probably involve the phrases 'whining' or 'a dog dying.'  If this sounds terrible to you, you're half-right.  Frank's vocals are certainly an acquired taste.  In a way, I would actually recommend listening to Frank Iero's vocals in Pencey Prep's album Heartbreak in Stereo before listening to this album as it's a bit more straightforward.  Trying to take in Frank's vocals for the first time along with the avant garde style of indie rock that is prominent in Stomachaches can be a bit much.

 Heartbreak in Stereo is actually one of my favorite albums of all time despite its low production quality.

The mix of angsty punk, emotional vocals, and cleverly written counter melodies are main reasons.

Despite its issues, Stomachaches has some gems to be discovered as well.  The first music video, "Weighted" has the modern indie pop feel but with the guitars leading the way in the melody.  If the music on my local alternative station was a little more like this, I might be more inclined to listen.  Some fans on the internet speculate that this song is supposed to be about former MCR frontman Gerard Way but it's hard to say for sure one way or the other.

This video gets really weird at the end.

"Joyriding" also comes together relatively well but, like other songs on the album, is certainly an acquired taste.  It's interesting to note that in this song, Frank recorded all of the instruments himself.  The other songs, Frank did all of the instruments except for the drums.  I'm not sure why he decided to do the drums on this particular song as they seem just as simple as the rest of the songs but apparently he has his reasons.

"Stage 4:  The Fear of Trying" is also another notable as the clean and reverby guitar really captures the somber feeling of the song.  This song also proves that Frank is as emotional of an artist as he was back in the early 2000s which rarely ever happens once artists are inflicted with super-stardom.  For instance, if you listen to Muse's debut album Showbiz, you will realize that Muse had never quite reached the emotional intensity of that album again (and anything after Black Holes and Revelations doesn't even come close).  It's good to see artists, like Frank Iero, who continue to actually have the drive to keep making music and to draw that drive from sources other than to make money or out of obligation to fans.

My favorite song on the album "She's the Prettiest Girl at the Party, And She Can Prove It with a Solid Right Hook" very effectively builds and tears itself down between choruses.  This is also the best utilization I've heard of Frank's tortured voice in any song he has sung because of the emotional level and style of the song.  This song also retains the most quality when performed live.  The other frnkiero andthe cellebration songs sound very scrappy, at best, when performed live.  Listening to this album and seeing the band live are two completely different things.  I definitely wouldn't go out of my way to see frnkiero andthe cellebration live, but if they're at a festival and you like this album, they're probably worth your time to check out.  I just wish Frank's backing band wasn't so boring to watch.  They literally just stand there...

Anyways, yeah, I love this song.  Lyrically it's relatable.  The instruments are well-performed. It's an emotional rollercoaster fronted with Frank's tear-jerking vocals.  And...

HOLY SHIT!  I DIDN'T KNOW THIS SONG HAD A MUSIC VIDEO!!!

Not really sure what that had to do with the song exactly but it has a hilariously bizarre twist towards the end

Anyways, Stomachaches is overall, a solid effort by Frank.  It has its fair share of problems but when it hits, it, well, doesn't really hit a homerun but it does pretty well.  This album will probably be a cult classic with Frank Iero fans but won't really make it much farther than that.  This album is definitely worth giving a shot after listening to and enjoying Pencey Prep's Heartbreak in Stereo.  This is kind of one of those albums though that grows on you every time you listen to it.  My initial reaction was pretty moderate at best but after half-a-dozen listens, I ended up really enjoying a few of the gems on here and moderately enjoying the rest.

Album Image:  http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c1/Frank_Iero_Stomachaches_cover.jpg

Vivaldi's Four Seasons is a Pessimistic Piece

A few weeks ago I had to get familiar with some classical tunes from the Baroque era and, of course, this famous piece was on the listening list.  Naturally, this piece is very well known for its first movement titled "Spring."  If you just click the play button below, you'll probably recognize it immediately.

But, have you ever listened to the other three movements in this piece?  Probably not unless if you are a classical music enthusiast.  I'm definitely not claiming to be a classical music enthusiast but I do enjoy some classical tunes every now and then.  So, I decided to listen to all four movements of this piece instead of actually listening to the other pieces on the listening list.  And, well, it left me sad and frantic at the end; leaving me to conclude that this piece has a pessimistic outlook on the cycle of life.

I don't really have much evidence to back my feelings but I'll try to explain the best I can.

The first movement "Spring" sounds very optimistic and innocent.  It literally sounds like nothing is going wrong and that nothing can go wrong.  It's a kind-hearted introduction to the hopes that life's beginning has in store.

The second movement "Summer" (starts at 10:31), we immediately notice a change in mood as minor chords dominate.  The mood is much more frantic but not helpless.  It's in this movement that the fight for survival has begun and it's generally going well.  The listener feels a sense of stress but also a sense of victory after every phrase, like there's a chain of battles being won.  There's a few, slower, hiccups that interrupt this chain but it is, ultimately, a triumphant movement.

The third movement "Autumn" (starts at 20:59) reverts back to a major chord driven theme in the beginning.  In fact, the listener should be able to recognize the variations of the theme from "Spring" in this movement.  It gives a sense of accomplishment from the trials endured in the second movement.  However, the use of minor chords still has a significant presence in-between the sections that contain major chord driven themes.  To me, it seems that the piece is making sure that the listener doesn't forget that even in times of triumph, the constant struggle for survival still goes on.  At 4 minutes to the end or so of "Autumn," it's at this moment that the piece becomes very adagio, pianissimo, and minor.  It has a very melancholy feel that I interpret as a realization of mortality.  However, the spirited ending of the movement reassures the listener that the trials endured over the past two movements have made us stronger than ever and that survival is not as difficult as it was at the beginning of the second movement.

The fourth movement "Winter" (starts at 32:48) gives us a lot of the frantic mood that we experienced at the beginning of the second movement.  The beginning is very melancholy though to signify the cold and bitterness of the season.  About halfway through the movement, we get a change from minor to major key where we feel a sense of reassurance that even in the harshest months, there's still some rest for those who so desperately need it.  But then that reassurance is lost when the piece slowly becomes depressive again and slowly works its way back to a more frantic mood.  The frantic part here though doesn't sound like the others.  It sounds like there's less fight than the other movements:  almost like we're just worn down and truly helpless.  There is a short burst of a reassurance phrase but the song almost immediately goes back into the helpless, frantic phrase and ends on that note.

Now, the end of this piece I interpreted in two different ways.  The first one was the inescapability of inevitable and immediate death.  The piece does end rather suddenly as there is no true build up to the last note.  It could be a commentary that being caught by a predator would be a pretty sudden and helpless death without much warning.  The death could also be due to the cold weather.  By the end we're fighting to survive but we don't have much fight left and before we realize it, we froze to death.

The other way that I interpreted it, which is a little less pessimistic, is that we made it to the end of winter which came rather suddenly because we got so wrapped up in the process of survival that we did not realize where the end was anymore.  We made it to spring, but we barely made it.  And the cycle goes on again.

It might be interesting to note here the chronological order of the movements as well.  Notice that the most pessimistic movement, "Winter," is the ending note of the seasonal cycle when in reality the piece could have, say for instance, started with "Winter" and ended with the joy of "Spring."  It almost gives the impression that "Spring" is where life begins and "Winter" is where life ends:  reverting the world to its clean slate to start the cycle of birth and death again.

Now, I know that this piece is based on a poem and that the actual intentions of the piece closely coincide with certain lines in the poem, but I don't really plan on reading the poem or listening to the piece while reading the poem so this is my interpretation of the piece, and overall, it has a pretty pessimistic outlook from my eyes.  A lot of the piece is about struggle and very little of it is about the celebration of life.  I'm not saying this is a good or bad outlook but I do think it is an interesting one to experience through song, especially since most of us are only familiar with the very optimistic and innocent sounds of the first movement.  It is all four movements listened in series that make this piece a true masterpiece.

So yeah, basically my take on the piece.  If you have any other notes or are a classical music elitist that feels like trolling, go ahead and ream my ass in the comments.  Otherwise, see ya!

Weezer - Everything Will Be Alright in the End

That is the cutest and scariest thing
I've ever seen

Before listening to this album, I had heard all kinds of things about it; mainly that it sounds a lot like older Weezer albums and that this is a lot less pop than some more recent releases.  Well, I can agree with the latter but this album doesn't parallel the blue album or Pinkerton very much at all.  I would say that the mood of the album more closely resembles Pinkerton but even then there's a bit of doubt with why someone would say that these are similar albums.

With all of that aside, I think the album is really well-written.  At this point in Weezer's career, it was pretty paramount that they rebound with a solid effort after the uninspired Raditude and the mixed bag, self-produced Hurley.  It would be a stretch to say that Weezer has hit the home run with Everything Will Be Alright in the End but this album certainly has a lot of good that can be said about it.  Being a loose concept album about love eventually coming around for a hopeless romantic, the songs go really well together.  The one exception to this would probably be the single "Back to the Shack" but it's a fun song so... whatever.

Speaking of "Back to the Shack," although I think it's a really good song, I think that it really doesn't make much sense because this album and, particularly, "Back to the Shack" don't sound nearly as much like their oldest stuff as they might think.  The only song that does is "Lonely Girl."  That song I could actually believe came off of their debut album.

But I digress.

This album has songs throughout that are instantly memorable.  The lyrical and song concepts aren't just the same old thing either and I really laud that.  The first five tracks are very good alt-rock tunes but it's in the second half of the album that my heart is won.  "The British Are Coming" is a cool tribute to the birth of America with a very passionate vocal performance by Rivers Cuomo as he belts the high notes in the chorus.  The next track, "Da Vinci" is probably one of my favorites as it has one of the catchiest introductions of any Weezer song, using whistling very effectively.  Lyrically, the song is very cute as it's about the main character of the album trying to describe what is so great about his love but he can't and goes on to explain how:

"Even Da Vinci couldn't paint you.  And Steven Hawking can't explain you.  Rosetta Stone could not translate you.  I'm at a loss for words."

I thought that it was a clever concept for song lyrics anyways.  "Go Away" and "Cleopatra" continue the train-a-rollin' with a passionate vocal duet in the preceding about heartbreak forcing a breakup.  The album ends on a three movement piece titled "The Futurescope Trilogy."  In the past, Weezer has had interesting ends to their albums with this one being no exception.  It's a very well-written and thought out piece but you will probably not be too impressed the first few times you listen to it.  It wasn't until about the fourth or fifth listen of this album that I realized the true extent of the purpose of the song's existence and how it ties up all of the loose ends in the album.  Particularly, it explains the motive for titling the album Everything Will Be Alright in the End.

This album doesn't really have a whole lot to criticize.  I think what holds it back from being in the same discussion as the blue album or Pinkerton is that the few tracks between "Back to the Shack" and "The British are Coming" are pretty generic.  Other than that, there really isn't a whole lot of bad stuff happening here.  This album should definitely be praised for what has been accomplished. 




Cover:  http://prettymuchamazing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Weezer-Everything-Will-Be-Alright.jpg

Over-Exaggerating How Bad Social Experiences With the Opposite Sex Will Go

I think it's fairly certain that most of us have at least done this once in our lives.  I can't really speak for all people but when there's someone that I really like and I don't know how they feel about me, it seems that all of the logical functions in my brain just shutdown whenever I try to talk to them or when I think about them.  Here's some examples of these kinds of instances that we may imagine.


An Inappropriate Time For Clumsiness

"Alright, here we go!" Gerald thinks in his mind as he approaches the lovely Rosie.  Or, maybe he said it out-loud?  Anyways, Gerald has made up his mind.  He's going for gold!  He's walking with pride!  Every step feels like a small victory!  Oh but there it is.  It's just laying there, looking for trouble.  The banana peel:  the root of all terrible jokes.  This time it's real.  This time it's no joke at all.  The very barrier that brings a triumphant charge to an utter halt.

His foot lands in the banana peel, the grooves of his sneaker digging into the interior layer of the dispose of a former popular health snack.  The shoe immediately gives way with minimal friction between the new shoe accessory and the tile floor.  The foot slings up with great speed, forcing Gerald to spin-cycle his arms in a pathetic attempt to contain composure in this truly dire time for success.

Gerald lands flat on his back, oh yes, he does.  The embarrassment has made its tried and true approach quite as expected but the worst is yet to come.  While Gerald gathers himself to make a stand-up recovery from the fall, his eyes land on the banana peel which is flying upwards:  so proud, so brave.  Astonishment overwhelms Gerald; all he can do is watch.  The compost spinning in a yellow flash of grandeur is coming back to Earth.  Heading straight for disaster, the fruit scrap lands on Rosie's delicate little nose.  Oh the humanity!  What was Gerald to do now?  Nothing, that's what.  Gerald went back to the floor whence he came, forming into the fetal position.  Everything was over before it started.


Using the Wrong Words

Devin didn't talk much.  He kept to himself due to his inability to contain himself.  Once he was going, he was gone.  Like a runaway train of all the ambitions in the world, words won't stop coming from his mouth.  His excitement escapes him is what it is.  Devin didn't want to be this way, he's just a very enthusiastic person when the right topic was on his mind.

His infatuation with Valerie was a true recipe for disaster.  Devin could go on for years talking about his dearest Valerie.  I know this because he did!  But, the one day came when he could not contain his fondness any longer and he sporadically approached Valerie with invigoration:

"Hi!"  Devin exclaimed.
"...hi," Valerie stately inquired.

Devin is rustling through his mind like a mass of unorganized notes.

"So, uh, I was thinking and, um, well, if it's ok, hm, DAMN VALERIE!  YOU'RE JUST PERFECT IN EVERY WAY AND I KNOW THAT YOU'RE MY BRIDE TO BE.  YOUR HAIR WAVES LIKE THE FM RADIO!  YOUR SMILE SHINES LIKE WD-40 ON A RUSTY DOOR HINGE!  YOUR WONDERFUL LAUGH REMINDS ME OF MY PET HYENA!  YOU SMELL LIKE..."

As Valerie slides over to make an escape, Devin continues to exclaim to the world his profound emotions until the police take out their tazers.  When the electrically charged conduit hits his chest, Devin double-times the list of attributes until the very moment his head hits the ground and the words cease.

After a moment of stillness, Devin shows new signs of life.  One of the officers waves his hand in front of Devin's face; watching as his eyes follow.  The officer promptly asks,

"So, who's Valerie?"

Devin stutters a little and then focuses his eyes on the large shades of the officer.

"Oh Valerie?  I guess she's ok.  Why do you ask?"


Help I'm Stepping into the Friend Zone!

From the outside, Ed appeared to be a pretty independent figure.  He was a go-lucky kind of guy that had his problems like we all do but managed to keep his life towards the plus side.  This was until his brain became corrupted with the power that is women.  After some crash and burn relationships, Ed had found himself vulnerable and alone.  That was the day that Aria came along.  Aria never necessarily had bad intentions, she just knew how to play the game.  Poor, poor, vulnerable Ed was stuck.  There's no escaping the charms of a beautiful woman such as Aria.  As a coworker, Ed enjoyed Aria's on-the-clock banter and quickly developed the inescapable doom called feelings.

Ed invited Aria to a series of get-togethers on the weekends, but progress never found its way.  Ed found himself either alone or stuck doing kind gestures for Aria, making poor, poor, Ed feel more distant than ever.  Eventually, Ed was being left behind.  Ed would invite Aria to all kinds of nights out like he had before but Aria started to brush him off every now and then, only keeping him around as nothing more than an errand boy.

To this day, poor, poor, Ed still finds himself at the beck and call of Aria.  Ed has been bound and chained using his own heart against him.  It is men like Ed and I that have found this to be our most severe weakness.  If Ed can accept the importance of his independence and his worth, his heart shall become a strength again.


EW!  GROSS!!!

Jodi, unlike other kids in her grade, would sit alone during the lunch period, contemplating some of the wonders of the world.  Haha just kidding!  She was actually thinking about what shoes to wear for the girls' night out this weekend.  In deep thought, she had her eyes shut, weaving her blond curls between her fingers.

"Well, I could wear the red platform shoes." she thought.

"Gosh no!  Too Wizard of Oz!"  The few gears in her head were turning.  It had been awhile since they were oiled up so things were pretty slow going.  Very well past the 3,000 mile change.

"How about those shimmery heels?  ...hm, no.  Tracy called me a slut when I was wearing those."

Jodi was unaware of the immediate events to unfold.  However, her brain had really started to misfire so she decided to cease all thoughts and dive into her Caesar salad.  Only moments into the green meal, in came Harold.  Harold was not just entering the cafeteria, Harold was returning after buying a second tray from the lunch lady who so dearly admired him.  Harold's greasy hair and protruding belly were just a start to the horror that Jodi had described to her closest friends as, "Atrocious and putrid."  Harold was incredibly tall at 6' 9" with a shoe size that would double that of my boot.  His unruly hair spiraled down across his eyes, past his nose, and curled back under his upper lip.  It is still a mystery to this day if Harold had a mustache or not due to half of his face being masked by his bangs.  His beard was of equal quality to his hair, swinging down and around his chin until it all gathered right around his Adam's Apple.

Those who knew Harold knew that he had a heart of gold.  It is true that most had similar views to Jodi about his appearance, but his kind-heartedness made it easy to overlook these qualities.  Jodi noticed Harold looking in the direction of her table.  Jodi crossed herself and whispered a quick prayer, then proceeded to pretend to not notice Harold approaching.

As soon as Harold had sat down with his lunch, card, and roses, Jodi vomited right back into the Ceaser salad bowl; erupting like Mt. Vesuvius.  Harold just sat and watched as she erupted lime-green digestive juices in a steady stream.  As soon as the upper-half of her digestive tract was empty again, Harold did not make a move, staring blankly at the mess.  Jodi looked up at the staring Harold while wiping her lips with a napkin.

It is from this point that multiple accounts of the story contradict.  However, the most universally agreed-upon version of the story is as follows:

Jodi burst into laughter, spitting remnants of the vile fluid left in her mouth all over the table.  Harold still didn't know what to say, but started chuckling softly to himself.  Jodi, wiping some tears from her eyes, then looked back at Harold; looking hard into the eyes that were covered by the greasy hair, moving her eyes down to his beard that swung down and around to his Adam's Apple, observed his protruding belly, and, finally, landing on his boot sized feet.

Jodi and Harold extended their arms out; Jodi's hands grasping onto the card and flowers.  Jodi gave a soft smile to Harold and whispered, "Thank you."

And that was the day that Jodi stopped being a bitch.

Rise Against - The Black Market

Simple, but interesting album art

In short, this album is about what you would expect it to be.  Similarly to End Game, this album has a few standout songs but ultimately fades into the background of the Rise Against library.  Now, that doesn't mean this is a bad album by any stretch of the imagination.  But when you're a band that has classics like The Sufferer and the Witness and Appeal to Reason, it's hard to make albums that stand up to those.

The beginning of this album is actually the best and most memorable part.  The album starts with a simple but emotional orchestral intro that seems slightly out of place when the guitars, bass, and drums kick in; but it's cool enough of an intro where I can give it a pass and still enjoy it for what it is.

The second track, "I Don't Want to Be Here Anymore" is an incredible single like how "Satellite" was for the previous album.  The song starts off pretty good but it isn't evidently destined for greatness until the assault of bass and drums pumps you up during the first verse.  The transition from the verse into the pre-chorus is also a great fit as the pre-chorus would kind of show up randomly without it.  The chorus is instantly memorable even though nothing particularly outstanding is happening in it.  It's just very well written.  The bridge is also very well written from a transitional standpoint.  Even amongst accomplished writers, it's unusual to find bridges that fit as seamlessly as the one in this song; which has a perfect lead-in back into the final chorus and outro.  If you don't plan on checking out this album, the few minutes to check out this song is definitely worth your time.

The third song, "Tragedy-Time," stands out mainly because it sounds pretty different from anything else Rise Against has written.  It's much more melodic than their other songs, especially in the lead guitar parts.  Right from the start, the lead guitar grasps you with an incredibly catchy melodic-punk riff and overall, this song is very well written as well.  I've noticed in recent months that this song has gotten a fair amount of airplay on my local alternative station and, I would say, rightly so.  It's a good change-up to the rest of the shit on that station anyways...

The rest of the album is actually very unmemorable, but there are a few songs that devout Rise Against fans may want to check out.  "The Eco-Terrorist in Me" has a very reminiscent feel to it that will remind you of Revolutions Per Minute.  It's also not a half-bad song; it'll get you pumped.  Other than that, the end of the album also has a phoned-in acoustic ballad, "People Live Here" that isn't bad but doesn't stand up to "Hero of War" or "Roadside."

At the end of the day, not a bad album but one that will most certainly fall victim to being overshadowed by an already incredible discography.  For Rise Against fans that want something new to listen to, I would say that you should definitely get this.  For every listener, a couple of the more generic songs that I didn't mention in this review will probably find a spot with you where it didn't for me.  However, if you're more of just a generic punk fan, it's probably not worth your time to check out the whole album and the first three songs that I discussed would probably be the only ones worth your while.

The Black Market Image:  http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/91FYDwsLixL._SL1500_.jpg

Final Fantasy XIII Trilogy

I'm gonna start this one off by losing a bunch of you right away.  How am I going to do that?  Well, by saying this:  Final Fantasy XIII isn't that bad.

Well, it isn't.  Just bear with me for a second.  Just take a step back and imagine that Final Fantasy XIII isn't titled Final Fantasy.  Just imagine that it's titled like, Lightning is a Badass.  Now that the game isn't alienating all of your expectations of what a Final Fantasy game should be like, just remember one thing:  it's just a game.  Seriously, it's just a game.  And since all of the Final Fantasy titles are independent of each other (except for the sub-series *plural*) it's not like there's twelve other games of continuity to screw up so why be bitter?  Oh don't worry, I'll definitely call these games out on what they need to be called out on but I want to be fair too.  People just love to hate on these games and I don't really get it.  Don't get me wrong, I think a lot of the mainstream critics totally dropped the ball when reviewing Final Fantasy XIII (IGN gave FFXIII an 8.9/10, Game Informer 9.25/10, Famitsu 39/40).  But I do believe there's some good to be found in these games as well.

The upcoming Final Fantasy XV was originally supposed to be
Final Fantasy Versus XIII but got renamed for whatever reason

The driving sub-series in Fabula Nova Crystallis (which I guess makes it a sub-series of a sub-series) the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy introduced a new underlying theme in the Final Fantasy series where the symbolism of crystal is used in various forms in the narrative other than only giving you powers and shit.  At the very least, in the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy, crystal seems to be a symbol of the oppression of deities on their subjects.  But, there are other games that are part of the Fabula Nova Crystallis series as well including Final Fantasy Type-0 and the upcoming Final Fantasy XV.  I, obviously, have no idea how crystal contributes to the narratives in those games so, that's that.

Oh, by the way, if my Latin isn't too rusty, Fabula Nova Crystallis translates to The New Story of the Crystal (or "crystals," the endings are the same).  I guess that makes sense considering the underlying themes.

Anyways, enough exposition aside.  Let's get on with it!

Final Fantasy XIII

Uh oh, in Europe you have to
be sixteen to play.

When playing this game for the first time, your first impression will be that this game looks really good.  At the time, this game definitely had some of the best graphics of any game on the Playstation 3 or Xbox 360.  Actually, speaking of which, this game is the first of the main series to be on an Xbox system (I through VI were on NES/Famicom, VII through IX on Playstation, X through XII on Playstation 2).

Anyways, the first way fans will be alienated by this game is with the battle system.  A lot of fans pick on this aspect because, unlike the turn-based systems of other games, this game only allows you to control one character the whole battle.  I guess they all forgot that Final Fantasy XII also only allowed you to control one character at a time as well.  In fact, I think that the battle system in that game is worse than this game.  In Final Fantasy XII, I beat whole boss battles without even being in front of my TV.  Hell, there were a couple of times when I wasn't even in the same room.

Since the player can only control one character per battle, the battle sequences become pretty mundane pretty quick.  What makes it even more mundane is the auto-battle function which basically does all of the thinking for you.  Instead of choosing the magic and attacks to chain together yourself, you can opt to have the AI chain attacks together for you automatically.  It's usually not the most efficient way to win a battle but it still gets the job done most times and makes the game that much more boring.  I tried to avoid using the auto-battle function whenever possible just to make these battle sequences a little more interesting.

I would say that the paradigm system in these games is a big plus for adding a little complexity to overly simple battle sequences.  The paradigm system basically allows the player to switch between preset lineups of roles for their characters.  For instance, the player might setup the party as two ravagers (spell-casters) and one commando (fighter) to break an enemy's defense and then switch to three commandos to deal massive damage.  In tougher battles (I use the term "tougher" loosely) you will probably also want to frequently switch to a paradigm pack that has one, two, or three medics.  There are other roles too such as the synergist (buffs party members), the saboteur (debuffs enemies), and the sentinel (acts as a tank and absorbs massive damage protecting other party members).  However, you won't find yourself using these roles often as there is often no real reason to.  Overall, the paradigm system I think is a cool and innovative idea, but it isn't really used to its fullest extent here.

A big criticism of this game is that the story is pretty convoluted and needlessly complicated.  However, if you're playing a Final Fantasy game and expected any different of a story than that, you're playing the wrong game franchise.  Just about every Final Fantasy game has unexplained instances, character motivations, and/or lore.  In fact, this isn't particularly unusual within the JRPG genre so if this kind of stuff bothers you, you should probably play an American RPG instead.  But yes, I do agree that the story in this game is a bit much.  I liked the overall story arc but some really silly stuff happens within it and motivations for visiting certain locations seem very ill-explained.  It's kind of like, "Alright, let's visit this place now.  Why?  I don't really know but the script says we go to the sewer level now."

Actually, there's no sewer level in this game which is pretty unusual for any RPG.  Hell, half of Fallout 3, is spent going through subway tunnels; which aren't sewers but they basically feel like sewer levels.  The levels in Final Fantasy XIII are very unique and interesting locales.  Even if we don't know why we are going to these places, at least the places we are going to aren't cliche.

I think the characters in this game are good depending on what you make of them.  Either you will like them or you won't.  If you don't, oh boy will you hate them.  A lot of annoying moments to be had with these characters.  The good traits that these characters bring though are enough for me to say that I think I like them.  I'm still not really sure.  Lightning is one of the most awesome female protagonists in any game but guys like Snow I can't really seem to stand.  But, there is a scene when Lightning punches Snow in the face.  Good times...good times...

I think I may have stood up and cheered at my TV

You'll also find that the English voice acting in these games is quite good which is unusual for the JRPG genre.  So many times have I seen just some of the worst sound editing and cast for English voice actors but this game gets it right.  It's even evident that in the cutscenes, the designers re animated the lips to match the English voice acting.  I can't say I've ever seen that attention to detail regarding the NA release of a JRPG.

The worst part about this game, which everyone can basically agree, is that this game is incredibly linear.  I don't know what they were thinking but the majority of this game has no exploration, no decision making, no searching for stuff.  Everything is down a single path.  You just keep walking down the same path, enemies get in your way, you keep going.  Towards the end there's only one area where you can explore.  And there's actually side quests, something that this game basically doesn't have.  It's like the open world, side questing experience was an after thought, an instance where the developers said "Oh fuck, we don't have anything an RPG is supposed to.  No matter, just put a little bit of that stuff at the end.  It should be good enough."  It's like the game developers forgot to insert the open world sequences in-between the dungeons.  It's really just terribly done, no matter how you look at it.

Overall, like I said, not the worst game but this game isn't really that good either.  They definitely tried some new, innovative, ideas in a genre that has become rather cliche in the past five to ten years and I laud that.  However, in most instances it didn't really work and it feels more like an interactive story than an actual JRPG.  I think for some, such as myself, the story is enough to carry the game as I did find it interesting (which is something I can't say about Final Fantasy XII).  I think if you find this game at your local game store for $10 or less and you like Final Fantasy, it's worth giving a try despite what your fanboy or hater friends might say about it.

Final Fantasy XIII-2

Why is Lightning on the cover
if she's never in this thing?

In a lot of ways, Final Fantasy XIII-2 is exactly the same as Final Fantasy XIII, in a lot of other ways, it isn't.  Let me explain a bit.

First off, this game only has two playable characters (unlike six in the first game).  However, your third battle member is a monster or robot of your choosing.  It adds an interesting element to pre-battle setup but nothing too different from the previous game.  The battle system is exactly the same as the first game so, mostly mundane and boring here as well.  However, you will find in this game that there are harder and more diverse enemies to fight and you will want to use all six roles somewhat frequently.  So, in that way, the battling in this game is definitely improved.

The plot and overall premise of this game however makes the previous game look simple.  Boy is this game's plot more complicated than it needs to be.  It picks up right where the last game ended (which was a complete fairy tale ending with all loose ends tied).  So, this game starts off really confusing to anyone who played the previous game.  All of a sudden, our main protagonist is Lightning's little sister Serah, who spent the entirety of the last game being completely helpless.  Now, all of a sudden, she can actually do stuff.  Why?  Well, because she has this moogle that can transform into various weapons and stuff for unexplained reasons.  Seriously, since when could moogles do that?

Anyways, my biggest beef with the plot of this game is that Lightning is hardly in it.  Seriously, you take one of the most badass protagonists of all time and not only put her on the bench but you basically cut her from the team?  Lightning is in this game for a grand total of like twenty minutes and now she's like a Goddess' knight or some shit.  So she's off doing her own thing the whole game which you never really find out what she had been doing the whole time until the end.

Despite the last game being linear, this game doesn't have open exploration either.  Basically, you end up time traveling to different places at different times doing stuff.  But, to make it more confusing, you can travel to parallel universes as well and do stuff.  It's confusing and hard to follow but at least you get a series of choices regarding where you want to go.  Because of this though, there's a lot of backtracking and repetitive location visits.  For instance, there's one single location you can visit in four different continuums (Continuui? Hell if I know the plural) depending on what year and which parallel universe you are in.  The locations mostly look the same with slight changes depending on stuff that happens which keeps it mildly interesting but, for the most part, it's just repetitive.

Unlike Final Fantasy XIII this game does have chocobo racing and casino portions of the game.  It's interesting for awhile but, in retrospect, the items you get for doing chocobo racing aren't too great compared to the time you will spend farming materials to level up your combative chocobo.  So, I wouldn't do it if I were you.  The casino only offers slot machines unless if you buy DLC.  ...fuck...that...

The leveling system is almost exactly the same as the previous game but presented in an aesthetically different way.  Basically experience points can be spent on learning new moves in one of the six paradigm roles.  Beyond that you get no choices which is certainly a drawback for both games.

One thing I loved doing in this game is throwing the moogle for far away items.  PETA probably wouldn't like it but it was a funny thing in a cute way and an odd satisfaction overcame me every time "KUPO! KUPO!" was fading away in the distance...

I'm not messed up, I swear.

Final Fantasy XIII-2 makes improvements to the simplistic Final Fantasy XIII but overall left me mostly unengaged and uninterested in a lack-luster storyline.


Lightning Returns:  Final Fantasy XIII

Why did I leave in the first place?

The third and (hopefully) final installment of the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy takes the previous two games and flips it upside down in just about every way.  Unlike the first two games, this game is completely open world.  You can go wherever you want just about whenever you want.  However, unlike the first two games, this game lacks a strong sense of main plot and tries to survive on side quests alone.

The game stars Lightning (thank goodness) as the main protagonist who is now working under orders from a new god who is anticipating the end of the world for some reason I forgot and needs as many souls on the new world he's building as possible before the end of the world comes.  So, somehow, Lightning has now become a prophet or a demi-god or something that can literally save people's souls.  Seriously, her title is "The Savior."  So how does she save people's souls?  By completing side quests of course!

And that's all this game is, lots and lots of side quests.  There are a few more major side quests where you help save the souls of some of the main characters (like Snow or Sazh) but it's mainly just saving the souls of random people who seem to have pretty petty problems considering that the end of the world is only like seven days away (can be up to thirteen depending on how many souls you save in the first seven days).  With the clock ticking away to apocalypse, helping some inept sheep farmer get his sheep back in a pen (multiple times) seems like an incredible waste of time; or help some guy improve the popularity of his financially failing restaurant which shouldn't matter because the world is going to end anyways.

Other than the plot of the game being completely stupid (like, one of the dumbest plots I've ever seen) the game is actually pretty interesting.  First of all, the battle system has been completely changed and is actually pretty interesting and unique.  Instead of party battling, Lightning fights solo by changing her roles via clothing changes.  If that sounds really silly, it's because it is.  However, if you can manage to get over that, there is a lot of fun to be had with the new system.  Pre-battle, you setup three different outfits to change between which all have different abilities and perks (all of them are completely customizable).  On top of that, the abilities that are attached to the outfits are upgradeable/customizable as well.  It's similar to the materia system in Final Fantasy VII in that way.  What is frustrating is that there are no cure spells in the game so the only ways to gain health back in the game are by using potions or the medi-guard skill.  The thing is, you're incredibly limited by how many items you can carry (less than ten at a time) so potions aren't a very viable option most of the time.  So, you will find yourself using the medi-guard ability a lot!

Hasta La Vista, Snow.

What also makes this game most unique from other RPGs is that you don't level up by killing enemies; you level up by completing quests.  So basically, if you can avoid combat, a lot of times it's in your favor to do so.

One of the most interesting elements of the game is the end of the world clock.  When the game tells you there's a limited amount of time until the end of the world, it means it.  Every day starts at 6am and ticks away at about a minute every ten to twenty seconds of real time (not really sure).  You have to use your time wisely because when 6am of the next day rolls around, you'll be sent back to a place that doesn't serve as much other than a plot device (which is annoying).  So, when you're completing these side quests, you don't want to dawdle.  However, you'll come to realize that it isn't so hard to save time as the Chronostasis ability (which literally stops time) will save you lots and lots of time and that you should use all of your ability points only on that one ability over and over.  I saved so much time that I still had like 4 days left and I had saved all of the main characters and only had side quests left that I didn't feel like actually doing (one of them being kill every monster in the world, yeah, fuck that).

It's also important to keep track of what time of day it is because certain quests can only be completed at certain times of day. Some locations in town will also be open at certain times of day.  Some of the goals are also more lenient by being limited to whether the goal can be completed during the night or during the day.  Some monsters can only be fought during certain times of day so you'll want to visit different locations at differing times of day to see what all is available at that particular location.

One drawback of this game is that, even though it's open world, it doesn't really add all that much.  Why?  Well, there's only four areas you can visit in the whole game!  Yeah, pretty small free roam kind of game.  I mean sure, the areas are large areas with plenty to explore but there just isn't that much variety here.  There's two cities, an open plain, and a desert level.  That's it.  I wish they would have had a few more expansive levels to explore.

Some of the costume choices for Lightning did bother me as they were completely out of character for her to wear.  What do I mean by this? Well, Lightning isn't the kind of woman to wear skimpy outfits (which there are plenty of in this game)  What's even worse is that when you win a battle while wearing the skimpy outfit, she does a somewhat seductive pose.  This is just wrong.  Her character wouldn't do this!  It's part of the reason why she was so badass in the first place.  She never had to use her looks or charm to get what she wants.  She uses brute force and her independent attitude!  It's like the writers forgot what her character was supposed to be like.  There's even a Final Fantasy XIV inspired outfit where she has a tail and cat ears.  C'MON! REALLY!?!?

I would go as far as to say that I enjoyed this game.  However, beyond that, there's too many little annoyances going on here to say that this is more than an average game.  The big thing that's stopping this from being a good game is the lack of story; something that we've never seen in a Final Fantasy game before and hope that we never see it again.  Because of this, this game just really lacks direction and although I liked a lot of the mechanics in this game, by the end the novelty of the good battle system had worn off and there was no substance left due to the lack of story line.  At the end, I was literally wishing that the game would just be over already because this game deserves such a better story than this.

I would probably recommend buying this game used if you like RPGs but I wouldn't recommend putting in the time to finish it unless if you're a big fan of the trilogy and need to know how it ends.  Basically, it's fun for a while but without a solid main story, it wears out its welcome very very fast.        









Fabula Nova Crystallis image: http://s264.photobucket.com/user/lightningagito156/media/Fabula%20Nova%20Crystallis/Final_Fantasy_XIII_wallpaper_by_Fea.jpg.html

FFXIII cover:  http://www.ps3attitude.com/wp-content/gallery/final-fantasy-xiii-cover-art/final-fantasy-xiii-cover-art-eu.jpg

Lightning Punches Snow image:  https://33.media.tumblr.com/53d0de2d5e58a366a63730750696397f/tumblr_n2hesk2peF1tv7ai8o1_500.gif

FFXIII-2 cover:  http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/90/Final_Fantasy_XIII-2_Game_Cover.jpg

Lightning Returns:  FFXIII cover:  http://www.otakustudy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/d878daa2e02afba2a457a39dd2ddd751.jpg

Lightning Glasses image:  http://images.gamersyde.com/image_lightning_returns_final_fantasy_xiii-22213-2588_0002.jpg

Rancid - ...Honor is All We Know

The cover is basic, but this isn't a
Tool album or something

In short, this album was my favorite to come out last year.  Naturally, I think a lot of people didn't even realize that Rancid released a new album last year; even punk fans.  And that's a real shame because this album is a very good throwback to '95.  The blends of punk and ska will definitely remind Rancid fans of ...And Out Come the Wolves:  an album that is a true classic within the genre of punk.  The album also features some punk guest appearances on gang vocals which add to the punk revival atmosphere.  These guest appearances include Brett Gurewitz from Bad Religion, the original lead singer of the Dropkick Murphys Mike McColgan, and Skinhead Rob from The Transplants.  The short run length of 32:47 is no reason to talk down on this album because it's 32:47 that's filled with some of the best material that Rancid has put out within the past ten years.

...Honor is All We Know is an album that delivers from start to finish.  The opening track, "Back Where I Belong" is a much more fitting song for Rancid than "Back to the Shack" was for Weezer as this album, like I said, actually sounds like it came from the midst of the punk revival movement of the 90s.  The main thing to note about this album are the quantity of songs that carry the punk spirit; a quality which was lacking in the previous album, Let The Dominoes Fall.  Songs like "Raise Your Fist," "Collision Course," "Honor Is All We Know," "A Power Inside," "Face Up," and "Grave Digger" really make you remember what punk really is supposed to be about.  In an era when punk-influenced bands don't really do this that much, it's a great breath of fresh air.

The album also includes a couple of ska inspired tunes; the kind that are very reminiscent of "Time Bomb" from ...And Out Come the Wolves.  In "Evil's My Friend" and "Everybody's Sufferin'," Rancid definitely utilizes the offbeat more than they had in the past few albums.

The production value of this album is good.  Not a whole lot of added value as far as audio sampling or overly produced electronic intros but these are things that I wouldn't want on a Rancid album anyways.  The production is simple and well done for what it is.  Bad Religion's Brett Gurewitz has proved his worth as a producer with this album.

As good as this album is, there are a few minor drawbacks.  Sometimes the lyrics are a bit goofy.  The most confusing lyric is actually in the chorus of the title track "...Honor Is All We Know."  The line "Honor is among us.  Honor is all we know." is strange mainly because of the word among.  Not only is it difficult to decipher what exactly is meant by that, but it kind of implies that the idea of honor is something that has been forced onto them which I don't think is the intended message.  "Honor is inside us." would sound just as goofy, but at least it would make more sense.  "Honor is our mantra."  might be a little better.  It wouldn't sound like something from a punk band but I think it would be a better line.

The gang vocals also sound a bit off-key at times, which is particularly surprising considering the cast gathered to do them.  It's especially apparent in "A Power Inside" at a couple of points in the choruses but, most of the time, the gang vocals sound fine.

The only other con I have about this album is that the album finisher doesn't particularly work as an album finisher.  There isn't an exact science as to what song you should have as an album finisher but "Grave Digger" isn't it.  This is a bit surprising as Rancid has had some pretty good album finishers in the past like "Otherside" from Indestructible and "The Highway" from Let the Dominoes Fall.  But, "Grave Digger" is still a pretty awesome song and one of my favorites on the album.  I just don't think it works as an album finisher.

All whining aside, all of the cons of this album are pretty negligible.  This album has everything you would want out of a Rancid album.  It has the fast punk songs, bright punk anthems, a couple of ska-inspired tunes, and does it all in record time (meaning NO FILLER).  Any punk fan should give this album a try because, as I said, it was my favorite album to come out last year and was very overlooked.  You won't find it to be Rancid's best release, but it holds its own.  






Image:  http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e1/Rancid_Honor_Is_All_We_Know_Album_Artwork.jpg 

Punk Songs Make Me Want To Break Shit

Minor Threat

When you talk about music that actually stands for something, there's no genre in history that has more aggressively held its stance than punk music.  Now I'm not talking about blink-182 or any of the other mellowed out pop-punk.  Hell, I'm not even talking about the late 70s UK punk scene.  Stevo from SLC Punk was pretty accurate when he said that the US did punk, "...faster, stronger, and with more love."

So, I'm talking about the hardcore punk bands.  The bands that literally want to make you destroy the chains of society.  The bands that want you to spit in the face of authority.  The bands that make you want to tear down the walls of racism and classism.  The bands that denounce injustice not just here, but everywhere.

When talking about hardcore, it's hard not to talk about the late 70s to early 80s punk scenes around the US.  When I think of hardcore punk, the first bands I think of are Black Flag and Minor Threat.  These are the bands that have historically become the face of what hardcore is.

Henry Rollins is probably the most self-destructive lead vocalist I've ever seen.  He's also much more 
intelligent than he appears; spending time in his later years as an activist and public speaker

Black Flag had songs that were immediately memorable like "Rise Above" and "My War."  What makes "Rise Above" so relatable is that the lyrics are so vague that you could apply it to any situation involving oppression:  past, present, or future.  Black Flag may have simple lyrics, but it also means that the message is crystal clear.  No dancing around the issues or sugarcoating the stance, Black Flag has declared the enemy and there's no holding them back.

Minor Threat were only a band for three years (1980-1983) but they had one 
of the largest impacts on future punk-revival and post-hardcore bands.

Minor Threat, fronting the Washington DC hardcore scene, brought just as much intensity to American hardcore as Black Flag had.  There's a lot of similarities between the two front runners of hardcore but the distinct difference between the two bands lies in the vocals.  Minor Threat generally has cleaner sounding vocals whereas Black Flag's vocals are a lot more distorted (could very well be where punk growling is derived from).  "In My Eyes" and "I Don't Want to Hear it" are probably Minor Threat's most well-known songs but this is a band that definitely warrants listening to more than just a few songs.

I saw them at Chicago's annual punk festival Riot Fest two years ago.  
They still rock just as hard now as they did then.

Bad Religion, as the name implies, had their crosshairs set specifically at theologies most of the time.  Bad Religion is probably most well-known for their punk anthem "American Jesus" and rightfully so as it has one of the catchiest guitar intros in any genre of music.  However, if you want to catch Bad Religion at the height of their intensity, their 1982 debut album How Could Hell Be Any Worse? is a great place to start.  What sets Bad Religion even further apart than the rest of the hardcore bands at the time was that they had incredibly good sounding vocal harmonies. 

I love the guy that runs up on stage and starts singing the chorus too early

Agent Orange always seemed to have a darker sound than the other hardcore bands which allowed them to stand out from the rest of the punk movement like Bad Religion had.  Bloodstains was always the Agent Orange song that I really enjoyed.  Having two studio recordings, the original version is pretty good but, in my opinion, The Darkness version is where it's at.

I don't think I've ever actually heard this song before but this live clip is 
so great that I figured I had to show you guys

Another band hailing from the Washington DC hardcore scene, (for those that don't know, the most expansive hardcore punk scene was from southern California) Bad Brains brings the energy to what is the equivalent of two or three non-hardcore bands.  Whenever anyone says or implies that hardcore and punk are strictly Caucasian genres, I just point them in the direction of Bad Brains.  They do it harder than most others.

 
My first exposure to DK was from Tony Hawk's Pro Skater when I was six years old.  

I loved this song then and I love it now.

The Dead Kennedys set themselves apart with horror and dissonance inspired guitar riffs and near-psychotic breakdowns on stage.  These guys are pissed and don't care who they offend to let everyone know about it.  They're probably best known for "California Uber Allies" but DK fans will hail "Holiday in Cambodia" and "Kill the Poor" as hardcore punk classics.

Although hardcore punk doesn't hit the national spotlight anymore, it's still celebrated in small pockets throughout the world and embedded within the modern punk genres it has influenced.  It's interesting how relevant a lot of the messages in these songs are and how little progress we have made since the 1980s.  Hardcore and punk rock raise awareness about particular issues but this is only the first step.  The populace needs to realize the extent of the problems of the world and not stand idle.  It seems that a lot of people are content with digesting brainless television programming and remaining in the shadow of passive oppression.

As long as there are basic violations of human rights, unjust wars being fought, inequality in the workplace, injustice in the courtroom, etc., punk rock will never go away.

As far as what true hardcore bands are still around:  well, there aren't really.  I know of a couple of local bands in my area (Save the Son and Shaken Baby Syndrome) but it seems no one else wants to make a blatant statement or a call for protest; probably because it isn't a very popular thing to do (except for Rage Against the Machine and Green Day to a certain extent, I give them props).

However Anti-Flag, though originating from the 90s punk revival, have built the bulk of their steam speaking out against the Bush Administration's policies in the 00s.  It's bands like Anti-Flag that make me truly believe that punk isn't dead and that there are still people out there that want to fight the good fight.

Although Anti-Flag isn't a hardcore band, their stage presence and their song "Fuck Police Brutality" 
are very reminiscent of 80s hardcore.

Anti-Flag, who hail from Pittsburgh, are definitely not a hardcore punk band.  Their use of nifty lead guitar lines probably puts them more in the melodic punk category.  However, they are the ones who are just about single-handedly carrying the torch.  Bands like Bad Religion, the two re-incarnations of Black Flag, and Bad Brains still play live, but they won't be around forever.  Anti-Flag keeps it alive by not only still playing political music but still writing new political music.

And, that my friends, is important for the future of our society.  

"One people, one struggle.  Stand united.  Stand peaceful."

If you guys have any other hardcore 80s bands you really like that I missed, mention them in the comments.  Also, if you have an awesome hardcore band in your area that you like, throw them down in the comments as well.  Peace.

Minor Threat Image:  http://www.altpress.com/images/uploads/feature_header_images/MinorThreat1.jpg

Mason! Why do you make so many mistakes!?!?

Yes we are... yes we are

As you may have noticed over the time that I started writing these posts, there are freqneut mistakes or erorrs that I will make somewut consistently.

hehe, I'm just trolling you now...

But seriously, with this post I plan to confront the lack of professionalism that keeps occurring throughout these posts.  Here are some of those things:



Why is the formatting all weird?
Because the draft formatting often gets distorted when actually posting stuff to the site.  This is probably mostly due to the unconventional two spaces that I enter after a period or hard punctuation mark.--See?  Why do I do that?  Well, it goes back to my keyboarding class in high school.  She would mark us down if we didn't have two spaces between the beginning and end of sentences and it's a habit that I've never put in the effort to correct back to the more popular single space after sentences.

Why are there so many typos?
Mainly because I don't edit these.  Okay, that's not entirely true.  There was a period of time though where I would write out a post and then immediately post it to the site before even looking at it for errors.  I've gotten better about it but I still don't catch all of them.

Why are there so many spelling errors?
Same reasons that I have so many typos basically.  I'm not paying attention and type 'there' instead of 'their' or something like that.  We all do it sometimes, it's just a matter of actually looking at it again and correcting it, which I can be pretty lousy about.

Why does the name and subheading of your blog have nothing to do with what you talk about?
...the original thought of this blog was for it to be more personal.  I obviously had changed that thought almost immediately after writing the first post.  I still have a few posts every now and then that are a little more personal so I think the title and subheading are still suitable enough to keep.

Why does your author description say "Just another guy?"
Because I am just another guy.  Don't take my opinions (or anyone else's) too seriously.  The internet is already hostile enough.

Why do you write about games so much?  You should write about music more!
Yeah, perhaps you're right.  I think the balance is pretty good though but I haven't really done any album reviews in a while.  Stay tuned!

Why do you write about music so much?  You should write about games more!
Wait what?

Why do you write about movies so much?  You should write about music and games more!
Oh!... buzz off!

Like in the title of this post, why do you put the exclamation mark before the question mark?
Because I feel like either order is technically grammatically incorrect since you're putting punctuation marks unnecessarily next to each other.  Even though I'm aware the more preferred order is to have the question mark before the exclamation point, I still do it that way anyways because that's how I've always done it and I don't feel like changing.

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck?
Other than the fact that's irrelevant to this post, I would say that a woodchuck could probably chuck quite a bit of wood in a short period of time but the woodchuck would not be able to chuck the wood very far or very accurately.

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Well, a friend of mine ended up driving his F-250 on both and crashing into a lamp post on the parkway so I guess you could do either/or on both road situations.

Am I done asking questions now?
No!  I'm asking you!

 Are you done answering questions now?
Yes.



Image:  http://birdsontheblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/committedtoexcellense.jpeg