Well, it got fucked up, majorly.
The flag quartered with orange, yellow, green, and blue was on the scene! Weezer was performing at Woodfield Mall as a part of a promotion for a Microsoft store opening there.
Let me put it to you this way, no one was there for the Microsoft store opening. They wanted to see Weezer!
Well, the concert was supposed to start that Saturday at 7pm. My friend and I were there at 9 the night before to get these meet and greet passes that were being handed out. We got our passes and proceeded to wait in line.
Actually, at first, it wasn't so bad. They had us waiting in the parking garage. It was quiet. We ended up next to some cool kids that were mildly entertaining. The time actually kind of flew by. That is until, at about 6am, this cunt (and yes, I use the word cunt because this bitch was, indeed, a cunt) shouted at us on a megaphone and no one could understand what she was saying. After some deciphering and muttering amongst companions, we figured out that we were being brought into the mall.
At first, this seemed great! Sitting on the ground in the parking garage was getting pretty old pretty fast. The cunt told us that there would be chairs for us to sit in and a free breakfast.
However, there were no chairs, no stools, no stair steps to sit on. There was no breakfast, no pieces of bread, no crumbs as far as the eye could see.
In fact, the conditions worsened ever faster. Upon being brought in, we were forced into a series of short and narrow (too narrow to lie down in I might add) queues where we were subjected to non stop commercials and sales pitches. Oh, and on top of that, they decided to play really shitty music at us too.
I mean, really shitty.
Bruno Mars, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga. And then they taunted us with shitty remixes of alternative bands like Of Monsters and Men. All they had to do was play Weezer music. Instead they annoyed us with music we didn't even like. This left us daydreaming of the days that we were sprawled in the parking garage.
The sales pitches, the commercials, the shitty music. This went on for five hours.
The only good part was that they had give aways. They gave away some Weezer signed guitars.
Yes, Microsoft did get something right that day. The other giveaways seemed like stuff that they had lying around in a warehouse somewhere that they couldn't get rid of. Some shitty bluetooth speakers, Xbox 360 bundles, the Xbox One...
Eventually they did the store opening ceremony. At this point, my friend was on the ground in agony. He had his hands over his ears and head and he was tearing his hair out. The ribbon cutting ceremony lasted about fifteen minutes but it was all really fucking annoying since people that we didn't care about kept giving speeches.
After they finally cut the ribbon, they started letting us into the store. They were handing out the tickets in the back of the store of course. On our way to the back, we had to be subjected to not one, not two, not three, not four, but five different salesmen and five different sales pitches for preordering the Xbox One. After getting our tickets, we were subjected to three more sales pitches for preordering the Xbox One.
For the last time Microsoft, I don't want your self-destruction of a console franchise!
At this point, it's about 11:30. My friend ran as far as possible from Woodfield Mall to escape the horror that lay within.
We came back at about 4pm because that's when doors opened for getting into the Weezer show. Some chick from Microsoft tried giving me a towel with Microsoft's logo. I refused. I got pissed off enough looking at the t-shirt I got earlier in the day. To no avail, most of the freebie towels ended up on the ground during the Weezer show. Trampled to dust.
When they started letting us into the "premiere viewing area," they took the picture of every single person they were letting in. Why? I don't know. It was stupid. No one wanted their damn picture taken. It was just slowing down the process of letting us in. When we got to the stage, there was a DJ blasting the same shitty music that was being blasted in the mall. I couldn't believe it! I wanted to slash my wrists!
They finally turned that shit off and Weezer performed. Weezer was a very good live show. They played all of the songs I wanted to hear except for the "Good Life" from Pinkerton. However, I can't complain. They played half of the blue album with "My Name is Jonas," "Buddy Holly," "Undone," "Surf Wax America," and "Say it Ain't So." They also played "El Scorcho," "Photograph," "Hash Pipe," "Island in the Sun," "Dope Nose," "Perfect Situation," "We are All on Drugs," "Keep Fishin'," "Beverly Hills," "Troublemaker," "The Greatest Man that Ever Lived," "Pork and Beans," and "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To." The show was excellent!
After the show was over, it was time to get in line for the meet and greet. I went back to the car to get my blue album so I could get it signed. This line actually went a little faster. When we finally got up there, the cunt from before took my blue album away and said that Weezer wasn't doing autographs.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!
This was after experiencing more sales pitches for preordering the Xbox One. When she took my album away, my friend, my other friend who got a meet and greet pass from his friend (yeah, wrap your mind around that), and I got thrown into a section of the store in the back where we found ourselves in front of Weezer. Weezer snuck in a greeting. Five seconds later, we found ourselves getting our picture taken (a picture that no one was ready for), and then we were given the boot to move along. I got my blue album returned - no signature to be seen. They gave us presigned posters. That was it.
Upon returning home, I checked out the picture of us on Microsoft's Facebook page. The picture really just says it all:
 |
| My friend on the right. His expression literally says, "Really, this is a meet and greet?" |
Overall, this whole thing is just a disaster for Microsoft. They spend a ton of money on Weezer just so they can piss off a bunch of Weezer fans by making them suffer through commercialism at its worst. I steadfastly refuse to buy apple products but god damn, it's like Microsoft was trying to lose me as a customer. If Microsoft never considered offering torture services to Guantanamo Bay, they definitely should!
No comments:
Post a Comment